The Planet’s parliament, being split into two offices the lower house, ‘Ill repute’ and the upper; ‘Worthy Regals’ has been busy passing new laws to combat several new problems that have come to light.
The first rule is concerning motorist that use mobile phones whilst driving. Both houses voted unanimously that all mobile phones should be fitted with a device that triggers a high pitch screeching whenever they detect a signal from the cars ignition when the keys are active, and a call is in progress. The control chip for this will be fitted into the auto-lock feature of the cars keys. Police have the power to firstly fine the idiot £50 on the spot or £100 within ten days of incident and must seize and crush the phone on the spot.
Second new law concerns cyclists caught using the foot path as a cycle lane when there is ample room on the road. If the aforementioned person is over 12 years old, they are also fined £50 on the spot (£100 if paid latter) and police will slash their tyres. To help enforce this a new low cost cyclist licence will be introduced and will have similar penalties for offences as a driving licence. Cost should be no more than £10 annually and the fee will be used to fund extra ‘cycle police’.
Thirdly, despite not proving popular within either house, the new online people’s vote system threw up an enormous vote in favour of MPs having to pay all expenses out of their salaries like everyone else on the planet.