Tuesday I had to go to Stoke for my ‘reinstated’ out patients appointment at the sleep clinic. What I find strange is that the nearest clinic, when I’m told there is at least a six months waiting list and missing an appointment is automatically dischareged, is that there are no closer clinics.
Anyway, Annette drove me there, still not trusting me with her car despite still being ill and largely because of her ‘car park fairy’ we managed to get a space within two circuits of the car park. That was a piece of cake compared to finding the correct department; we searched through numerous corridors, following slightly obscured signs and a few kindly patients pointing us in the right direction. I doubt I could have found it without help as it was very well hidden. By comparison finding Hitler’s bunker in Berlin was a piece of cake.
Anyway, the interview was pretty basic, just the sort of junk questions New Cross had been asking but, they did say I would get a sleep monitor wrist band and an appointment for the electronic overnight sleep test. I have my doubts about the monitor as it appears to be slightly less high tech than the wrist bands that you use with a smart phone. However, with this comes a sleep diary to be filled out; time to bed, start of sleep, wake up times, back to sleep etc. The biggest flaw in this is that getting in to bed and turning the lights out is taken as start of sleep and for somebody like me that drifts in and out of conciousness when a passenger in a vehicle or watching TV, I am never sure if I have gone to sleep at the listed time or lay awake for some thirty of forty minutes after the time listed.
The diary, has revealled something i found startling. It records total sleep times of seven and half to eight hours sleep for the first three nights, which leaves me wondering why, if I have slept that long I awake ready to go back to sleep in the morning. Strange. Perhaps the overnight test will find out what is wrong. It is all ‘are you stresses?’ Upset about something? Worried? on the chart so I don’t know if they can figure anything out as I truely don’t think any of that is an issue.
So expecting to wait another three to six months for the overnight tests, I was taken by surprise by the news I could go in this Tuesday as there was a cancellation. The alternative was a six month wait with the Monday being the new date as of the end of the month. So I accepted the appointment, forgetting I am supposed to teach Tuesdays, but squared that with Ambrose having realised a Monday would be a nightmare.
Now we have yet another of the childish NHS references to the overnight stay. If it helps you sleep you may bring your favourite pillow or blanket with you! I am not Linus Van Pelt so I think I will stick with whatever bedding they have and tell one of the nurses I normall sleep with my head nestled between Anntte’s ample boobs 🙂
Quite how they expect to record a full nights sleep is beyond me; they wake you up at 0600 hrs! Fingers crossed they can find something they can fix.
Meanwhile back to the one night only appointment for NHS patients. They only have two sleep rooms – why use the mortuary? The big questions is why do they only do one night a week? Being deeply cynical and supicious I suspect the rest of the week is used for patients that will pay to use the facilities. That being so I feel it is a terrible missuse of NHS resources. It was our money that paid for the blasted hospital and pays for the staff but, I suspect there is a great deal to be made out of people that cannot sit out the long wait as an NHS patoent. No idea how I could prove this but, know I would be off on my white charger if I ever found out this was indeed the case.