I just cannot believe I look so stupid as the modern day beggar would have me believe. On the way to the Robin 2 tonight, I saw what looked like a cross between Shaggy from Scooby Doo and a stereotypical drug addict walking up the opposite side of Wellington road.

When he saw me he started running towards me and putting on a pained expression started on about his wife was in labour and he didn’t know where the phone box was and hadn’t got 60p to phone for the ambulance.

Well I wasn’t in the mood to banter words as I wanted to get to the Robin. Normally I would love to have torn his pathetic lies apart; “oh that’s dreadfull, what’s her name? Where about is she? My word you must be the only under 30’s couple in the Western Hemisphere without a mobile phone, etc. Well I contented myself with a short “I’m not giving you any money.” When he continued whinging about the imaginary wife I said ‘follow me and I’ll point out the police station they’ll help or you can go to the phone box twenty yards up the road as 999 calls are free.’
“Aren’t you even going to let me use your phone?”
He must have been really desperate as he stood for nearly ten minutes shouting abuse at me as I carried on down the road.