Today saw the second part of a build that would make the BBCs DIY SOS Big Build team shudder.   As so many of my amateur builds they start off in a quiet unassuming way, like an avalanche begins with a snowball rolling down a steep snow filled slope.

Well, it is Alicia’s second birthday tomorrow (easy to remember: D-Day plus two weeks) and Annette had got her one of those sit in and shuffle forward cars to play in.  I happened to mention that one week I was minding her and the sun was shining, she toddled up to our garage door and asked what was in there. I told her it was for the car and so she walked back and returned struggling up the steps carrying an old sit on car we had found for her to play on. When I asked her what she was doing she said “Car go in garage.”

A recount to Adam over Sunday lunch sparked the idea that he would build her a garage for her new car.  As Annette had got loads of wood from work I thought it might be feasible but, Adam being Adam, he first started building a rabbit proof fence that would probably have kept King Kong out and so was short of wood.

He measured the toy car I had assembled and we decided it would be good if the garage was wide enough for her to get in and out of the car while inside, like in a real garage.  Width gains 6″ plus another 2″ just in case.  You can see where this is going. We had just enough wood to build the roof and back panel and make the four corner posts.

I realise this is all going a little Stan and Ollie  but, was by and large happy to muddle along at this level. However, despite me insisting the side and roof had now grown to such proportions we had no chance of getting the planed IKEA flat pack kit inside the car to take up to Joy and Dan’s for assembly in place.  Adam insisted he could get 115mm width in the back of his Hyundai I10 so as we needed more wood sharpish and Annette was at home, we set off to B & Q (a place I loath) to get some plywood.

With some difficulty I found my way past all the kitchens, bathrooms, jet-skis, ride on lawn mowers, snow ploughs etc. and found the timber right at the very back and mixed in amongst all the cements, bricks and forty types of sand.  Located the 8 x 4 three ply then had to go all the way back out to get a trolley big enough to transport it on. Did I mentions we had decided it now needed a window? (by the time I saw Adam tonight it had become two windows and if there was enough perspex left over two more in the garage door).

Anyway, I decided one sheet wouldn’t be enough as we needed about a half sheet for the door. Found that and the plastic glass and toddled off to get it cut to length.  With hindsight I probably should had had the width trimmed as well but, Adam was convinced 115mm would slide in with several feet to spare. By now the bill was up to a staggering £30 plus: I could have got a garden jacuzzi with free gnome for that price!

So we get the wood chopped to exact length (actually was the right size when I checked) but, I left the width uncut.  There now followed several scenes of  ‘to me, to you’  as we tried in vain to get the timber inside the car.  Eventually I persuaded Annette it wouldn’t fit even if ‘we removed the things that hold the candles and all them brass handles…’   Annette was to go home in the car with the smaller bits and I would carry the two pieces of  sawn ply board.

I pushed them to the edge of the car park on a trolley with three wonky wheels Annette had pointed out to me in her helpful manner and then I picked them up and started walking back.  Good job I’ve got arms like a gorilla as they were not easy to grip and I soon found it difficult going.  However, I remembered watching a documentary about Nepalese and Sherpas carrying heavy loads so I hoisted in on my shoulders and continued.     I made surprisingly good progress despite whacking myself on the head every third or forth step and by the time Annette decide to ring to tell me she had thought of somebody with a wider car that might be able to help shift it I was already at the edge of the Hickman park and told her it wasn’t worth bothering.

I had also found that I could make a far rate of knots by simply ‘rolling it’ along from corner to corner so that by the time Annette came to the rescue   I was almost upon Bell Street.   She kindly lifted up the other end of the boards and we carried them round to 172 ready for the next stage of construction.

It is not finished as yet, but with a bit of blood sacrificed to the DIY/Pain deity, I feel it may yet house Alicia little car, but if we keep extending the measurements much further, Adam might just park his car in it.