So after a long absence due to a slight disagreement with ‘Hal’
“Hal, I need to access the internet.”
“I can’t let you do that Dave.”
“Why not? I’m telling you to open up the internet Hal!”
“Oooh! Hark at you! I cannot open the internet Dave, any more of your searches and you’ll go blind.”
the tale continues.
I was not impressed with the food, mainly because it was rather like the old Woolworths diners service where you went along a stainless steel service area having portions of food ploughed onto your plate and the selection was not to my taste. 
One of the reasons for this deal was to prevent outbreaks of food poisoning and there were hand cleanser dispensers at all entrances so I could understand the need for that, but the whole layout was wrong. There were huge amounts of ‘rabbit food’ 
that by and large was ignored, then a load of pastas 
finally in a near state of exhaustion after the long march, you arrived at some of the main dishes and bread rolls. Having selected the least revolting looking you then proceeded to the vegetables (another strange mix) and there at the end is a chef doing a carvery of a more palatable meat offering. We found out after a couple of days that the soup was right round the other side of the dinning room next to the puddings and cakes.
The other option was the more formal restaurant with full waiter service, but as you had to queue to get in and the menu was on the bizarre side of my taste buds I wasn’t keen on that but, more of this later.
On our return to the cabin we found the cases waiting outside and our cheerful Philippino steward Bambang, who because of Alicia’s influence was hereafter known as Bing Band Bong.
The cabin was a little on the shabby side and like most of the ship showing signs of wear and tear but, generally it was acceptable especially as it was only going to be used for storage and sleep. The ship was much larger than the other cruise we did and there must have been at least eight decks available to passengers which meant lots of stairs although there were a few lifts, they were far too few for the number of walking wounded and wheel chairs amongst the passengers. 
This often cause Annette trouble with her gamy leg and I often reached the sun deck five or ten minutes before the lift chugged into view. Another small niggle over the food was the fact that unlike on the other ship there was no twenty four hour service and meal times often got crowded, but really just a matter of adjusting your own timetable.
The next day was the obligatory life jacket and lifeboat drill which is a sensible precaution but, I have to say on the Thompson ship was not taken too seriously. We toddled up to our lifeboat station clutching life jackets in hand and were instructed to put them on while the rest of the passengers arrived. Mine went on no trouble but Annette had all sorts of problems, reminded me of Norman Wisdom with a deck chair. It still makes me chuckle now to think of her with one arm through the head opening and strips of fastening tapes trailing everywhere. She gave up in the end and stood at the back. I nearly wet myself when the young crew member helped a young woman adjust her life jacket as it was too lose and Annette was looking like a half dead Houdini. 
I had to free her after the practice was over.
As we were at sea all the first day we did the hard sell meeting for the trips and tours that couldn’t be missed – boy were they wrong. A lot of the more interesting ones involved a bit of a trek inland for waterfalls, caves etc. and Annette used her Security Council veto powers on those so there was little more to see. The islands were by and large very similar; hot, good beaches, clear blue seas and palm trees. Hardly worth £40 -£50 for a bus ride round the island sight seeing. Having said that there were a couple of differences that I will hopefully recall later on.
By ten o’clock we were being scorched nicely and were out on the sun decks searching in vain for an empty sun bed or chair. I had what was described as a Heineken that was like calling a pineapple a banana, fortunately they did some bottled real ales and I switched to those very quickly. Annette drank what ever cocktail was on special offer. Sadly there was no free wine with the meals although there was plenty of iced water, tea and coffee to quench thirst in between the alcohol.
Down on the lower decks we saw some flying fish leaping out of the sea. We had been told there were dolphin on the starboard bow, but they remained out of our sight but, it was quite strange to see these fish everyone knows about for the first time. I was quite amazed at just how far they travelled through the air. I had expected a quick leap out and back down like a crazed goldfish in a tight bowl. Annette tried to get some film of them but, with the bright sunlight reflecting off the water and their natural silver bodies it didn’t come out very well. 
Onto the evening entertainments. One of the best parts of the cruise experience I believe is the entertainment. Having spent many a bored night watching pimply local teens miming to Grease Lightning at an all inclusive hotel it came a s a very pleasant surprise the first time I saw a show on-board. They have a dedicated theatre lounge for a start and almost certainly a largely British cast of entertainers that work hard to provide a variety of shows. Of course some of the smaller bars offer alternative entertainment too which is a bonus when the main show is that well known pretentious French show “The Miserables.”
I wasn’t over impressed the first night as they did the Coco Cabana but, as I quickly noticed the bird with the massive tits that would have had Andrew’s eyes popping out of his head and things looked up a bit. Sadly she seemed to be a bit self concious about her massive mammaries and tried to strap them firmly in place and flatten them but not so Alesha who had the second best pair but, made up for this by always wearing a low cut top and bouncing all over the stage so you got the full wobble effect 🙂 She wasn’t a bad singer either.
However, the group that really took my fancy were the resident band, that reminded me of the band that was always playing in a bar in the old Godzilla films. 
They were Tina and the Peakles and I thought they were very good although they were not to Annette’s taste. We also saw more of Canta Serenada (Los Lobos) in the same bar and they made a great alternative to the main evening shows. There was also a smaller bar with a duo and a piano bloke although we never saw much of them the duo were pretty good too. It was a bit like having your own floating Robin 2 club. All in all I was more than satisfied with the entertainment.